Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Fortis In Arduis



Today is a day we would love to tear off the calendar and pass over in many ways, skip over, have over or change events. Unfortunately such powers do not exist. The day casts a long shadow. I've been thinking about this post for quite some time now, trying to stay on top of my feelings and trying to figure out what to say. This morning I will get up and head off to work and Lisa will tend to the children. But it won't be a normal day. Today marks the day that Lisa lost her little Wyatt, a sad day that I've talked about before. It's just plain difficult. Lisa miscarried before we met and became engaged. Finding the right words isn't easy. I can only imagine what goes through her head. Lisa really truly is the rock of our family. Goodness knows, she's supported me through some very difficult times.

If Wyatt had survived he would have turned 4 today. I really don't know how she does it. I honestly and truly don't.  Elijah will be 3 next month.  The boys would have been so close in age.  So much so that, really, if  Wyatt had lived there would very likely be no Elijah.  It's not something I like to spend a great deal of time ruminating about understandably.

Life is a funny thing. It is fragile, painful. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. It is full of challenges, obstacles....hope. I wouldn't really count myself as an overly religious man. Spiritual might be the better word for it. But I do believe he is in a better place. A place without pain, without hurt, without disappointment. I believe we will all be united some day. I know Lisa and I, the kids and everyone else he touched is his all-too-brief life are united with him in spirit always.

1 comment:

Theresa said...

I am so very sorry. I have never lost a child but in recent years lost both my parents, so I am sadly quite familiar with grief. I think what's lovely is that you are able to write about it. It took me some time to write about my parents' deaths, particularly my mother's as it was so unexpected. I am sending you and your family thoughts of peace, love, and strength to get through a difficult day.