Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Apparently I Haven't Lived Here Quite As Long As I Thought aka Conversation With A Creepy Bald Guy.

Its been almost two-and-a-half years since I moved out here and almost two years since I bought there house here. Perhaps I don't trumpet that fact enough (or perhaps just not to the right people) as I was reminded of over the past couple days. Sunday I received a letter in my mailbox addressed to the wrong person. It's been a number of months since I recall happening. So Joan B., if you're reading this, I have an envelope for you. Errant mail is understandable here given the migratory nature of a certain percentage of our population.

Mail is one thing. When people come to the door looking for someone else, though, that's just a little bizarre, and somewhat comical too. Late yesterday evening, I was doing what I do best on the Monday afternoons I have off, which is to say vegging and being lazy. I was brought back to reality by the door bell ringing. I was pretty sure it wasn't a tenant since one was home and it was a little early for the other one to be home from work. I figured it was someone looking for a room and was quickly rehearsing my "Sorry, but all my rooms are rented out now," shtick as I opened the door.

You know when I weird-looking bald guy with a hat is on your doorstep, it has the potential to be an odd conversation. I paraphrase our conversation here to the best of my ability....

Creepy bald guy - Hi are you Lorraine?

Me - No.

Creepy Bald Guy- Oh. Is there a Lorraine that lives here?

Me - No. Sorry.

Creepy Bald Guy- Really? How long have you lived here?

Me- I've lived in this house a couple years.

Creepy Bald Guy- Oh. Sorry. I've always done her steaks. Maybe I have the wrong house here.

Me (to myself) - Gee...ya think?

Creepy Bald Guy- I've been doing her meat for awhile. [I kid you not.....those were his exact words.] Well, you wouldn't be interested in some steaks?

Me- Nope.

Creepy Bald Guy- How about some ribs then? Pork chops?

Me- Nope, I'm good.

Creepy Bald Guy- Okay then, sorry to bother you. Have a nice night.

Now, I know I can go to the post office to deal with the mail man....never thought I'd have to deal with a meat man.

6 comments:

Meandering Michael said...

How could you tell he was bald if he was wearing a hat? :)

Way Way Up said...

Just from the way his toque was sitting on his head. Unless he had a small patch at the very top of his head, which would just make him extra creepy.

dogsled_stacie said...

WHY didn't you take him up on the meat offer?!?!?

Way Way Up said...

Not much of a meat eater, but I'm thinking I should have at least looked into getting some good steaks. :(

Unkle B said...

Just wait until the milk man drops by!

Way Way Up said...

I cringe at the thought of it.