Apparently, the province's current financial mess can be attributed to Albertans. This, according to Premier Jim Prentice, who, in his wisdom, must have a scapegoat for everything. Forty-plus years of Conservative rule and it turns out, we are all to blame in the end. Of course for Jimbo to be correct he would have to ignore the fact that his party has formed the government here for longer than I've been alive plus the fact that I've never voted for his party. But yes, Jim. Other than those two inconvenient truths, it may just very well be my fault.
So yes, I admit it. Even though I'm in good health and have little reason to use our tiny hospital over the course of the 5+ years I've lived in the region. It's my fault. In the future, I commit to going in to work regardless of how sick I am.
I do apologize for attending that rally a couple years ago to push for Highway 63 to be twinned. WHAT was I thinking? I should be happy with white knuckle-drives, I suppose. It's like a speeding roller coaster that you don't have to queue for after dropping a few coins in a box.
I apologize for being so enthusiastic about the new overpasses that have been built during my time here. I miss the epic traffic jams and being late for work. It should always take upwards of two hours to get to work.
I apologize for our new bridges. Infrastructure? Who needs it? I was saddened that the old Grant MacEwan bridge was modified and it's distinctive blue steel girders torn down....but I apologize for that. It was only a part of our history. And history is bunk, as Henry Ford once remarked.
I apologize for being upset that our one MLA was convicted for soliciting sex with undercover cops in Minnesota. Hey, we're all guys after all, right? We all have our urges.
I also apologize for making too much money. In future I will commit to not working as much and pass over more of what I make to you, given that seeing to the financial well-being of an PC MLA's son outweighs that of my own son.
I apologize for being such a greedy, selfish and wicked person and for getting you guys in to this big mess. Blame me. If you wish to speak to me about my unqualified apology, you can find me shoveling snow over at my MLA's office as an act of contrition.